I’m new at a small company and have been invited to a company dinner, to which I can bring a guest. I like my boyfriend, but he lacks the courtesanal charm I imagine would be complementary to a gentlewoman at such events. Should I go alone, or am I being silly?
I’ve got some other questions waiting in the queue, but this one is easy to answer. You are new here! Do not bring your boyfriend!
Say he couldn’t make it (if anyone is even aware you have a boyfriend). Bring him later to the holiday party or some event where it’s more about people mingling and coming and going as they please. But you do not want your boyfriend to end up seated across from / next to your boss for an entire hour-plus of social time that you should be using to solidify your boss’s impression of you. No no no no no.
I would introduce a boyfriend to my boss for a couple of minutes, sure, like at that holiday party, or if we ran into each other on the street. (Keep it professional by mentioning your boyfriend’s job. “This is Jake. He’s a sound engineer.” You don’t have to say “boyfriend.” It’s understood.)
But I would not put a boyfriend and my boss together in a room for multiple hours until I was very sure of my position at the company and very sure of how my boyfriend were likely to act in that situation and very sure that it’s a serious relationship.
I might wait until marriage, really. Maybe that should be our new rule. Sleep with whoever you want, but you should save boss-introductions until after you’re married.
Also, another reason not to bring your boyfriend to a small work dinner is that plenty of people are sexist. Even other women. I don’t think you want anyone thinking of you as an adjunct to some guy. Of course, in real life, maybe he’s an adjunct to you, or you are happily equal. Great. But again, some people are sexist. Don’t help them.
Don’t hurt your boyfriend’s feelings. You’re not leaving him home because of his lack of charm. If he were extremely charming, that might even be worse. Tell him it’s a work event and you’d rather go alone. Because it’s work.
Originally on DailyBull, Get Bullish’s official Tumblr.